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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
allura629's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, July 5th, 2009 | | 4:59 pm |
Bags of Holding
The question: How do you get a lifetime of costumes, winter clothes and hunting/camping/fishing equipment to co-exist in one tiny closet? The answer: SPACE BAGS! 8 tubs have been reduced to 2 tubs and a tower of Space Bags, sucked clear of their space hogging air, and we've regained half of the closet to stow even more STUFF. A sad testament to our capitalist society. Current Mood: accomplished | | Friday, July 3rd, 2009 | | 6:27 pm |
I Am Not Alone!
Looking at yesterday's journal posts, I discover that I was not the only one to have massive angst at my job yesterday. Here is MY version. I get to work, get set up, and begin my duties as SLAVE. My boss comes in. We just finished a "Biggest Loser" contest at work. At that point the front runner had not made it in yet. My boss begins to bitch and grouse: "SHE better not have won." I ask the dumb question. "Why?" "Because she is a woman." "And?" "Men are superior to women." "So does that mean that because you are a man, that automatically makes you an asshole?" "We are superior. What's with the cursing, you should come up with something more clever than that." "You know what, you're acting like shit, and I don't even want to talk to you." A few minutes later, I'm pulled into his office and told that he will not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner. I fired back that he started it with his superior comment, and that he does it constantly, over and over and over. He says that if I have a problem with our "banter" I should come to him and say something instead of calling him an asshole in front of other people. He says that he would never say anything like that about me, that I "know him" and "know he's not sexist". He says that I have done this before, where I have lashed out, and we have set an ugly precedent and it needs to stop. Fine. We both apologize and go on. The women of the office are PISSED about this. Some of the men are not too far behind. We cannot go through a day without hearing some sort of bigotry fall out of the man's face. But then there are those that fall victim to the "GOB Club" and feel that I was in the wrong. After all, he is my boss. Look, I get it. I'm a woman in a man's industry, and I'm in a state that is repressed, and for the most part, they like it that way. And you know, a sexist statement usually doesn't get under my skin. However. When you say you are superior to the WOMAN who is single-handedly managing procurement of all 6 product lines for a plant that is on a system that you don't even know how to log on to while maintaining her product line for 13 plants in the region - she's going to get a little HOT. And those who know me, know that I don't get hot - I get COLD. | | Monday, June 29th, 2009 | | 6:16 am |
If 42 is the answer to the universe, what is 32?
Just another day, I suppose. Spent the weekend on the boat and didn't get burned. The lake was like bath water, very comfortable, particularly with 3-digit temperatures outside of the water. It's been a long time since I've spent any degree of time on a boat or swimming in a lake so it was nice to get back to my deepest roots, as in, pre-10 years of age roots. I didn't think about gators or gar until we were back at the lake house and in bed. Hell of a time to remember that there are creatures with TEETH in the water, after I spent all day splashing around like an all-you-can-eat buffet. But I am home safe and glad for a short week with a 3-day weekend at the end of it! Current Mood: awake | | Thursday, June 18th, 2009 | | 8:17 pm |
How Many of You Are There?!
Looks like all of my LJ friends qualify for this: If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal. It was a chain reaction, starting with the day I met a certain sig other. From there everyone else fell into place. My life has changed so much, moving, getting married, etc. But I would not be who I am today without him. Thank you. Current Mood:  thoughtful | | Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | | 7:11 pm |
Stomach Virus of DOOM
Spent yesterday curled up around a pillow on my couch. Had some kind of stomach virus, third-hand from one of Charlie the Unicorn's employees. Blech! In the world of HEAVY METAL - they messed up everything! They've killed our north-east region, and moved all the borders around to accomodate. This should not have affected us at all. North East is diametrically opposite to South West. But NOOO, well enough could not be left alone and so we got... Kansas City. Not KC and STL, not KC, STL and Omaha. Just KC. WTF! And therein lies: THE KICKER. Oh you knew there had to be one, didn't you? See, KC is on "that" computer program, the one I went prctically coast to coast to teach. And they have no plans to change them over to the antiquated dinosaur we're using in the SW region. So they looked around, saw me hiding under my desk, and dumped the whole fucking KC plant on my head! Not just one product group, all 6. "Oh you know SAP, that should be easy, right? It's just one plant!" Sure. It's the same job I did in STL. The same job that took a full 8 hour day to fulfill. On top of my current workload, which takes 8 hours to accomodate. Yeah. This'll be FUN. It's obvious they didn't ask my opinion before they did this. We'd have the whole state of Missouri and there'd be some changes. anyway, that's all the news that's fit to print. Current Mood:  restless | | Friday, June 5th, 2009 | | 9:51 pm |
It has taken over 20 years BUT...
I finally made it to Level 3 of Castlevania from the original NES. (Wii makes all things possible!) Yea, I'm a dork. But I'm a dork on Level 3! Current Mood:  crazy | | Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 | | 7:08 am |
| | Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 | | 6:58 am |
Well, It's Official
I am now "The Fat Cousin". Now before I get the avalanche of "That's BS, You're Beautiful!" Allow me to explain. The former holder of that despised title had gastric bypass surgery last year. So now she's dropped 115 lbs. So,in my less than humble opinion - she cheated. I can't have bypass surgery, or even a lap band - I'm NOT FAT ENOUGH. What the hell! It's so hardly fair, I can't even fucking stand it. So I have to work hard, starve and bitter myself thin, because it's only on my own broken back that this will ever happen. Charlie the Unicorn, like most of you, is livid that my mother can do this to me, so easily, so quickly. I spent the whole evening in tears and he was at a loss. Every "I love you" was met with "But for how long?" Every "I think you're beautiful" was met with "But why?" I guess I do need to lose 115lbs of dead weight - I call her Joan, as in Crawford, as in "Mommie Dearest", and she is my mother. If I actually lost 115lbs, I'd be dead. I guess I can take solace in that. Current Mood:  cranky | | Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 | | 8:05 pm |
| | Tuesday, May 19th, 2009 | | 6:44 am |
Grab Your Torch & Pitchforks!
Watch your borders, Missourians, I'm coming back for the weekend. BWA HA HA! Sunday is consumed by "Family Fun", but Saturday the plan is to head to the Ren Faire in the afternoon and then - well, that's up to YOU, I suppose. Does anyone want to see me? Speak now, and we shall develop A PLAN. (oooooooh! aaaaaaaah!) Miss youse guys! Current Mood:  curious | | Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 | | 5:51 pm |
It's an Adventure, Charlie!
Had to go to Dallas to speak with the lady doing my wedding cake. Oh boy twist my arm, make me go to Dallas, not like it isn't one of my favorite cities in the world... Except that I can't go anywhere without something bizarre happening to me, and adding Charlie the Unicorn to the mix just makes it that much... MORE... The drive is fairly short, 4 1/2-5 hours, depending on stops, etc. We left approximately the time I got home, and had a fairly uneventful drive until we crossed the Texas state line. There were cops everywhere, to the point where we decided to put the cruise control on the speed limit and just let it go. At one point we were passed by a yellow Monte Carlo - who was instantly pulled over. I'm guessing the phrase "Don't Mess With Texas" came by way of the Texas State Highway Patrol. We stopped for gas and a pitstop and encountered our first snafu - debit card vs. antiquated gas station equipment. Well, enter your pin number incorrectly 3 times and fuck you, you can't use your debit card anymore. A call to the bank on Saturday morning and fuck you, the debit card department doesn't work on weekends so you are away from home all weekend with no access to your cash. Fuck you very much, Your New Bank! Yeah. Not a happiness. So we get to Dallas and get on 635, the loop around the city - St. Louisans, think 270. We're not on the loop 2 minutes when the most putrescent odor I have ever smelled in my entire life burst forth from the back seat. I knew immediately what happened. We took Beulah & Bubbles with us because the hotel accepted pets. Beulah is 11 years old, and Bubbles is 9 - neither of my girls are spring puppies anymore. Well, Bubbles peeks her head into the front seat, and I reach back to "save" her from the mess Beulah has made of my backseat - only to discover that when Beulah had her accident, she had it ON Bubbles, and now that I have grabbed Bubbles, the accident is now on ME. And it was RANK! Immediately, all 4 windows went down amid gags and hacks from both of us, and we took the next exit available - into a questionable neighborhood in downtown Dallas at 11:30 on a Friday night in a car that smells like dog shit. We pull into the first gas station we see and begin triage - on the car, on the dogs, on ME. Charlie runs in to get papertowels from the bathroom only to discover - THERE IS NO BATHROOM!! What kind of place has no bathroom? They also have no bottled water - they are strictly a liquor/cigarette/gas station ala Dirt Cheap. So with the bottles of water we have and the melted ice from the cooler, we clean off the two dogs as best we can, we clean me off as best we can, and we threw away their dog bed out of the sheer desperation to be free of its malodorous opression. Cold, wet & stinky we arrive at the hotel and check in. Both dogs get baths in the middle of the night, both of us get showers, and we finally collapse in bed at approximately 2am. At this point, allow me to point out that any man who helps you clean dog shit off of yourself and two aging dogs in the middle of the night at a gas station in Dallas with no running water, knowing he has to get back in a stinky car and drive another half hour to the hotel in that FUNK, and doesn't leave said aging dogs on the side of the road - that is a man who really, truly LOVES YOU. That's my Valerie Bertanelli-ism of the day. The actual time we spent in Dallas, the things we needed to accomplish on Saturday all managed to get done, and we still had time to squeeze in the Blue Fish for the best sushi in Dallas and the Wolverine movie last night. The trip back was uneventful. All I can say is Thank God for American Express and my checkbook. All in all, I'm glad to be home, and dog shit free. Current Mood: crappy | | Sunday, April 26th, 2009 | | 9:00 pm |
Only Slightly Dead
Busy, busy life. No time for internets. Wedding crap is underway.Contract is signed, dress is found, going to Dallas next week to discuss the cake with Bronwen Weber at Frosted Art. That is very exciting. We did end up choosing 10/31 as our wedding date and 11/07 as our St. Louis reception date. I have gotten support ala "That's so YOU!" comments, and I've gotten eyerolling snarks from people who think it's cliche. What people need to recognize is that I'm actually stamping out the two-fold bad karma on that date. Of course, my mother and I are fighting the good fight of what I want vs. what she wants. she was saying that it was taboo to wear your wedding dress twice. I laughed and reminded her I was getting married on Halloween and leaving for my honeymoon on Friday the 13th. I got taboo by the balls, wearing my dress again is hardly on my radar of worries. My poor little Beulah is getting older and has trouble walking on the hardwood floors now. She kind of hops like a bunny with her back feet now. Scary, cute and sad. Coming to the STL for Memorial Day weekend. Sunday of that weekend we are having a celebration of life for my grandmother and 3 uncles. Probably hitting the Ren Faire on Saturday. Working out like hell and dieting when I'm not sneaking ice cream. Lost 15 pounds so far. Not bad for 4 weeks. Off I go now, Cinderella still needs to finish her chores. Current Mood:  blah | | Sunday, March 29th, 2009 | | 11:10 am |
Rumors of My Demise are Clearly Overstated
I'm not dead, I just felt like it for a while. Then when I got back from Conflation I found out I was pregnant. But since I am me after all, and all those parts don't function properly, and it turned out that I had a situation where there was a placenta but no fetus. So I'm not pregnant, I just played one on TV for about a month. I could go into gory details, but nah. For the curious, I am engaged to Charlie the Unicorn, officially, as of Valentine's Day this year. Wedding plans are in motion for late fall, into winter. There will be a Little Rock event and a St. Louis event. The date will be determined by when the venue becomes available. There has been discussion of a Renaissance themed wedding. As for whether there is a baby in my future, that is a ponderance. We're financially stable intelligent people. My doctor seems to think that she can coax my body into doing what needs to be done. Step one is - as usual - lose some weight. OH MY DIODES. Step two, hormonal injections. And you thought I was a bitch already. HA. Step three, will the real Princess Doom please stand up, or rather, pop out? Don't get too excited - that's a process at least 18-24 months in the making. No crotch droppings for a while. If at all. As for me, I'm doing fine. Emotionally fine in the aftermath, since my mother stopped being crazy. She doesn't have to plan a baby shower before a wedding shower so she can save face with the religious right... ha ha ha... I take refuge in knowing that Charlie the Unicorn knows that my mom is a crazy bitch and actively gets her off my ass at the first sign of distress from me. My best friend from Ohio is coming to visit in a few weeks, then I'm going on a canoe trip with some ladies from work. Then it will be May. April is chock full of shit I have to do on weekends. Easter, at this point, will not see me home. Please remember that despite my crusty crab outside - Cancerian nature afterall - I'm soft and sweet inside, and I love all of my friends back home. I miss seeing everyone. Current Mood: contemplative | | Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 | | 9:59 am |
Home Sick
Guess that has 2 meanings today. First, I'm home from work sick today. The doctor made me. She gave me some hardcore antibiotics and some other stuff specifically to make me expel ALL of the demons. There isn't a pleasant sight for a 3 foot radius around me. Disgusting. Second, I'm missing my "family" and my friends today. Reading LJ is about the only way that I hear about anything. Something about moving out of state in St. Louis, despite keeping a St. Louis phone number, makes you invisible to people there. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) professor has noted quite the same thing, so I know that I'm not hallucinating or falling victim to my inferiority complex. It's just a statement of fact. It doesn't bother me like it once did, but that doesn't change how I feel about my friends and family. I also know that when I get to town on Friday for Conflation, despite whatever disgusting thing my body is spewing forth, I will have a Queen's welcome. So it is all good. I do know that I am tired of being ill. Whatever nonsense this is that's going on in my body is hard to shake. On the upside, I have tickets to see Jeff Dunham (and Peanut, and the Jalapeno on a Stick, and Walter) on Thursday night. Something else to look forward to. And (fingers crossed) we will be leaving LR around 9am on Friday, which puts us in STL around 3-4pm. Our room is booked, but we still need to get our badges. Speaking of the royal WE - Guys, please be nice to Charlie the Unicorn. He's a con virgin. And yes, I am starting him off at Conflation. BWA HA HA! Alright, time to expel more demons - the puppies want to go outside. Current Mood: disgusting | | Monday, February 9th, 2009 | | 8:12 pm |
FUCKING DIE ALREADY!
What the hell does it take to kill pneumonia?!?! I can't fucking breathe, and I sleep in 45 minute intervals - between coughing fits. When I start to cough, it lasts for approx 15-30 minutes of hacking agony. I've had this shit for 4 weeks.It is the pneumonia that will not die! I went back to the doc last Wednesday. She listened to my lungs, did all the doctor things, then took a chest x-ray. I have 4 spots on my lungs. Yeah, okay, great. I grew up in a smoking household, 12 feet from the banks of DEAD CREEK, less than 100 yards from Monsanto. Telling me I have spots on my lungs is like telling the Pope he's a Catholic. The Doc has sent the films to the radiologist to double check that the spots are the remnants of the pneumonia. I haven't gotten a call back, so I'm assuming I just have 4 splotches of pneumonia left to conquer. Doc has changed the blood pressure medicine, thinking maybe it was exacerbating the pneumonia problem. The cough has lessened, I don't feel like I'm drowning any more. But now instead of a wet feeling, like breathing through a hot, wet washcloth, I now have a dry hack, like sandblasting my throat every other breath. doc has not given me anything for the cough. I've been fighting with my mother. The gist of that situation is that she is bored and has no friends and very little family remaining. She needs a hobby. Picking on me is a favorite passtime. She sends me e-mails trying to pick fights. I had to tell her to stop. I told her I wasn't going to fight with her. When she pulls the passive aggressive shit I just tell her I'm not going to fight with her. She bitches at me saying that I judge her, but she doesn't hear the judgements that she issues against me. All of the things that I enjoy make her sneer at me. So fuck her. She's not my friend and she doesn't need to know what I do for fun and leisure. She doesn't need to understand my motivations. I never thought this move would be nearly as important and life changing as it has been thus far. Current Mood: contemplative | | Sunday, February 1st, 2009 | | 8:27 pm |
| | Saturday, January 31st, 2009 | | 2:21 pm |
Everything I Learned About Being a Sexy Woman -
I Learned From Dolly Parton.  1. You can never be too blonde, too busty, or too sexy, and what nature doesn't give you, you can buy. 2. There's no such thing as hips that are too wide or waists that are too small. 3. A sweet southern accent and a smile can get you whatever you want. 4. If you're gonna play dumb, at least have a smart remark to make. 5. High heels make your ass look amazing. 6. Makeup. USE IT. 7. Good foundation garments can keep you looking hot well into your 60's. 8. There is no such thing as hair, legs or fingernails that are too long. 9. Everything is better if it's SPARKLY! 10. When all else fails, break into song. If it doesn't get you what you want, you may have at least freaked out the other folks around so they won't bug you anymore. | | Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 | | 6:14 pm |
Get em up, get em out - RAWHIDE!
Your International Spy Name is Fiona Goodnight
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Your Code Name: Rawhide
You Reside in: St. Petersburg
Why You're a Good Spy: You're sneaky
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Current Mood:  chipper | | Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 | | 6:52 pm |
What Day Is It?!
Let's see... The Allura Checklist of Bitchery Commence-eth! Work - SUCKS. Mom - EVIL. Dogs - POOP. Arkansas - TOLERABLE. Weather - COLD. Health - PNEUMONIA. Nothing quite like going to the doc for results of a diabetic blood test (A1C) and having a coughing fit. Doc rushes in and says, "That was you coughing?" HACK HONK HACK! rattle-rattle-rattle-rattle-rattle...HAC K HACK HOIC! I'm Z-Packin' it. Feh. Not a diabetic though. They keep threatening me, but I still seem to be keeping that at bay. Considering the 90-day range the A1C covered included Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years? I'm golden. Only supposed to have carbs at one meal a day now. Blessed, blessed dinner with your promise of a baked potato... My reading has taken a bizarre twist that I wish it would have never turned down, and I blame Gerry Bartlett. I met Gerry Bartlett at a writers convention 2 yrs ago, a week after her husband died, and at her premiere unveiling of her first book, "Real Vampires Have Curves". She told me a beautiful, personal story over lunch, and I bought her book at the big book sale on Saturday to support her. Since then, I've been reading vampire books. But only the good ones, I swear. I just trekked through the whole Sookie Stackhouse series, I started "Twilight", I have Gerry's 4th book in hand, and I still haven't finished Mario Acevedo's 3rd installment. I suppose I have to face the fact that I am a Fang Banger. Anyway, a rare lull brought me here, and I have begun to ramble. Love to my Homies. Current Mood: complacent | | Tuesday, December 30th, 2008 | | 9:50 am |
Yeah, Like That
The Cat Face should say it all. That's how my trip home has been going. ( Welcome Home, Allura )SO. Help Princess Doom get out of the castle. Call me up and ask me to do something - dinner, movie, coffee, wal-mart run, nose picking under a bridge - Just get me out of here! |
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