Below Radar

Another One Bites the Dust

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:20:40 GMT

I suppose it was inevitable. I mean, you can't be involved with a Sci-Fi Guy and not expect him to have some sort of gaming hobby. Even I play my own game, and now that the wedding hoopla is over and we are settling into our day to day habits I'm able to make it into my "THE CITY" more than I have been able to in the past 6 months.

But was he interested in playing CoH with me? No, he was NOT. Instead, he fell to the Evil Empire. They must have cookies or something...

DAMN YOU WARCRAFT!!!

New Phone is On

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:11:10 GMT

Opted for the iPhone. Only the little one, because I don't actually need to take over Switzerland from the comfort of my palm. 3 digit bill even with the "free upgade". Bastards.

Feh. What a way to start the holidays.

YEA, BIG UGLY CAT FACE DAY

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 03:52:47 GMT

Someone stole my phone out of my car!

Assholes!

Not to mention, huge friggin' crack halfway across the windshield - WTF!

And I wasn't the only one hit. Apparently there were 5 other thefts from cars in my complex today, and that was as of 11am when I reported mine!

Other items stolen today included 2 saxophones and a diaper bag... (snerk) Does this mean that the theives are Lisa & Maggie Simpson??

Going down to the AT&T store tomorrow to use my "free upgrade" and replace my pilfered phone.

In the mean time, I am incomunicado.

This also means that I no longer have my sim card so I DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER ANYMORE. E-mail, LJ-mail, Facebook-mail or, here's a novel idea, CALL ME ON MONDAY to re-instate your digits in my new device.

Still pissed about this. But I guess this is one way to get a new phone.

One Great Gift Leads to Another

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:50:56 GMT

One of the best wedding gifts we got was a one night stay at the Moonrise Hotel on Delmar in STL. One of the best features of that room was the fantastic pillowtop mattress that everyone who came to the after party took turns flinging themselves onto to experience the MMMM...

We've talked about that bed all week, and we've been talking about new bedroom furniture for a while, but we have other things that disposable income needs to go to at the moment (read, down payment for a house).

Friday I went to check the mail, and lo, another wedding card had trickled in. It was from Charlie's grandfather. And enclosed was a substantial gift certificate for a local furniture store.

So the first thing we went for was the bedroom suits. 4 poster dark wood king sized bed with a luscious pillow top mattress was top of the list. The posts are carved and interchangeable, so we have a choice of how high we want the posts to be. One giant chest of drawers to replace the 2 mismatched pieces we're currently using. And for me, a vanity table with plenty of drawer space.

There was a smidge of value left over, so we also picked up a server for the dining room to store all of our new kitchen lovelies in.

Hooray for new stuff of life!

It's the Rebels, Sir. They're Here. - Well, What Do They Want?!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:34:20 GMT

To tell you that Eddie Izzard is coming to St. Louis!!!

Hee Hee Hee!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:48:55 GMT

Made it back to Little Rock. Despite the bizarre "way back" music being played, I thought the reception went very well.

My favorite part? My mother got drunk on wine and apparently puked all night. What comes around goes around.

My second favorite part? Awesome after party at the Moonrise Hotel when we discovered Rocky Horror was sold out. Skunky champagne be damned, we had a good time just hanging out and sinking in to the fantastic pillowtop mattress. Sad that we left the camera in the car, it would have been great to get a shot of us all piled in. Great gift, folks!

As an aside, if you have not yet enjoyed breakfast at Eclipse, go try it. I had the GRRREAT! french toast, which was served with a maple rum cinnamon reduction, fresh homemade marshmallows shaped like cresent moons and strawberries. Charlie the Unicorn had the Eclipse Benedict and approved of the Hollandaise sauce, but was confused by the green beans... asparagus would be more appropriate, yes?

Pictures tonight, I promise! I posted them to Facebook from last week but forgot about LJ. Now that life is somewhat normal again, I promise not to be so retarded.

Back to work. SIGH.

How goths Show Their LUV...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:50:27 GMT

I've *understandably* been in a blue mood since Saturday. There's been little that has lifted my spirits in the aftermath of my mother's behavior. Charlie the Unicorn has been doing everything he can think of to cheer me up, but when I get to "that place" it's something I have to come out of on my own.

Today I got home from work and Charlie the Unicorn is on the balcony with a big grin on his face. He says, "I have the ULTIMATE SURPRISE for you. Come on inside!" Okay...

I come through the door, and he's standing there pulling on gloves. WTF. He goes over to a box that has a giant bottle of sour mix on it and says, "Don't worry, it won't bite you."

I took a step back. "Is it a skunk?"
No.
"Is it an armadillo?!?"
NO. Better!
He reaches in and comes out with -

A BAT!!!

SQUEE!!! I mean, EEEK!

Shortly after this, Batty flew out of his hands and started circling my apartment looking for a place to perch. We started turning off lights and of course, DUCKING as he flew around, but how awesome is it to have a BAT flying around in your house!!! We got a towel out and caught him gently so that we could release him back to nature.

He started making little squeaky sounds and Charlie explained that this is the noise they make when they're calling for help. So it was time to say goodbye. We took Batty out on the balcony and let him go. He flew up and out over my head. Amazing little creatures.

It Was Supposed to be the Best Day of My Life

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:42:00 GMT

It is amazing how ONE RUDE COMMENT can ruin your whole day.

"Maybe you should have opted for a salad last night."

And with that, no matter what other wonderful fantastic things happened, it was the only thing I could hear for the rest of the day.

Thanks, Mom.

So is this the wedding bell blues?

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:58:09 GMT

When I was home back on... Memorial Day? My mother had this big family party and invited all of the extended relatives to her house to visit and catch up, etc, etc, etc.

Part of that list, as you may recall is my cousin who had gastic bypass surgery, who was once the fat cousin, and now of course that makes me the fat cousin, blah blah blah. Whatever, I'm over that.

At that party said cousin told me that I HAD to come to her wedding because I had never been to one of her weddings (there have been 2 prior), especially since I was having my reception in STL on the date she originally wanted to get married. SIGH.

I re-ordered time in order to take today off from work to make an afternoon flight back to STL so that tomorrow I could sit in a car 3 hours - EACH WAY - to her THIRD blessed event, which she is only having because now she's thin. Whatever. To each his own.

At 1 week prior to my own blessed and hopefully only event, the loss of 3 days is major. I have my own shit to do. But I made the sacrifice for my family, some of the only family I have left after my grandmother and uncles have passed on, and my mother systematically alienated my aunt & cousins in Denver, and my grandfather (who was no loss).

After reviewing the response cards to both receptions, I have noticed a certain... LACK OF RESPONSE. Hell, I'll just say it. I only have 1 blood relative coming to my wedding, and both receptions, and that's my MOTHER.

Additionally disturbing, people who I consider family, who have been my family for YEARS, have neglected to respond. This is incredibly painful, and hurtful, whether intentional or not.

So for the last time I have to ask. Please come to my wedding reception in St. Louis on November 7th. Hate me all you want some other time, just please come fill a seat.

I'm All Confused...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:58:03 GMT

So, let me get this straight...

Rorschach is the new Freddy Krueger.
Inara is in the new "V" series.

Okaaay...

Maybe someone will come along and cast Mr. Rogers as Charles Manson!

Nevermind, that bizarre as both of those castings are, both shows tie firmly to Robert Englund.

Do I dare admit that I am a fan? I can't possibly be. That would be like waking up from a nightmare and saying, "That was GREAT! I didn't want it to end!"

Too wierd.

Another post soon regarding my (lack) of family.

Hooray For Stolen Memes!

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:42:15 GMT

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. Believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do. . .copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
Kissed any one of your Facebook/MySpace/LiveJournal friends? --- Yes
Been arrested? --- No
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes
Held a snake? --- Yes
Ran a red light? --- Yes
Been suspended from school? --- No
Experienced love at first sight? --- No
Totaled your car in an accident? --- No
Been in a vehicle at more than 100 mph? --- Yes
Driven a vehicle at more than 100 mph? --- Yes
Been fired from a job? --- Yes
Fired somebody? --- No
Sang karaoke? --- Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Kissed in the rain? --- No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes
Ever feared for your life? --- Yes
Seen someone die? --- No
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
Sang in the shower? --- Yes
Smoked a cigar? --- Yes
Sat on a rooftop? --- No
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- Yes
Smuggled something into another country? --- No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ---Yes
Broken a bone? --- No
Skipped school? --- Yes
Eaten a bug? --- Yes
Sleepwalked? --- Yes
Walked a moonlit beach? ---No
Rode a motorcycle? --- Yes
Dumped someone? --- Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? --- No
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- Yes
Ridden on a helicopter? --- No
Shaved your head? --- No
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? --- No
Felt like killing someone? --- Yes
Cross-dressed? --- No
Been falling-down drunk? --- Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes
Eaten snake? --- Yes
Marched/Protested? ---Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ---No
Puked on amusement ride? --- No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- Yes
Been in a band? --- Yes
Knitted? -- No
Been on TV? --- Yes
Shot a gun? ---Yes
Skinny-dipped? --- Yes
Gave someone stitches? --- No
Eaten a whole habenero pepper (or other hot peppers)? ---Yes
Ridden a surfboard? --- No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes
Had surgery? --- yes
Streaked? --- No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No
Passed out when not drinking? --- No
Peed on a bush? --- No
Donated Blood? --- Yes
Grabbed electric fence? --- No
Eaten alligator meat? --- Yes
Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- No
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- No
Peed your pants in public? --- No
Snuck into a movie without paying? --- No
Written graffiti? --- Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- Yes
Think about the future? --- Yes
Been in handcuffs? --- Yes
Believe in love? --- Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ---Yes
Have a tattoo? --- No
Have a piercing(s) ---Yes

YARGH!

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:12:00 GMT

As I drive on long trips, I call home to give status reports. Mostly this is for my personal safety, but also to relieve boredom.

When I left Archon yesterday, I called home and told Charlie the Unicorn I would be home about 7, so he should catch a snack sometime in the late afternoon so we could still have dinner together.

About 5pm, I made the turn from 55 onto 40 heading from West Memphis to Little Rock. I called home to tell him that I was in the home stretch. I could hear chewing so I asked, innocently, "What are you eating?"

"Egg & Olive Dip."

"Egg & Olive Dip?? There's such a thing as Egg & Olive Dip??" (eww...)

"Yeah. I made it. And I'm eating it on Chikin in a Biscuit crackers."

"Uh, is it any good?" (cuz it sounds like the formula for Concentrated FART JUICE)

"You'll like it. You can try it when you get home."

"Sure." (OMG, how can I fake my death between now and then)

So I get to the house and the dip is forgotten in the hubbub of me coming home. He had ordered pizza from our favorite pizza place (American Pie, Mexican Melt pizza, Yum!) and we chatted and flipped channels and watched a show called "Viva La Bam!" which I have never seen, but is so surreal, definitely a GUY show. We start to wind down, and head off to bed and I think I have escaped the threat of THE DIP.

"You forgot to try my dip! Here, let me go get it for you!"

"No, that's okay, I'll..." (DAMN! No escape! Trapped in the bed naked, can't run away!)

He comes back with a BUTTER TUB half full of the stuff and a box of the Chikin in a Biscuit crackers. By now there is no escape, and I'm laughing to hide my terror.

It was like... really salty boiled eggs, chewy chunk style. With mayonaise.

It wasn't the most disgusting thing I ever ate, but then, I'm not going to send the recipe to Food Network, either.

It's probably a good thing that I'm home.

Hail Mary

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:53:03 GMT

And by a miraculous effort by my extended St. Louis family, I WILL be at Archon this weekend, all by my onesies.

Thanks guys!

NOVEMBER 7TH

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:55:13 GMT

A quick note about my wedding reception in St. Louis -

It's on NOVEMBER THE 7TH

NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH
NOVEMBER THE 7TH

Don't look at the invite and think "Crap, it's on Halloween". Look at the reception card and go, "Great! It's on NOVEMBER THE 7TH!"

ALSO -

Due to severe ridiculousness on the part of JOAN, there was a shortage of paper invitations. If you didn't get a paper invite but would still like free dinner & drinks on NOVEMBER THE 7TH drop me a line or respond to this post or send smoke signals or tell kukla or thesigother or someone at the Schubox to write you in on their response card. Everyone is welcome! Fuck Joan, come get drunk at my party!

And remember - NOVEMBER THE 7TH!!!!

Just Not My Month

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:53:42 GMT

Bubbles is still at the vet. I want my baby back so much. I never realized how much light and happiness she brought to my life. Please, please come home baby...

Having shelled out over $1000 for my dogs so far this month, almost $1000 on the cars, plus the fact that my air conditioner has gone out, and I still have to come up with a substantial amount to pay for my wedding by next Thursday, Oct 1...

I don't think I can swing Archon this year. There are no holes in my budget until mid to late October. I can't even rob Peter to pay Paul. There's just been too much wild shit going on this year that has depleted our disposable income, up to an including $2000 spent on dogs and cars in the last 21 days.

Charlie the Unicorn said he didn't have to go, he could stay here and watch the dogs and I could go. Bringing up the dogs just makes me worry about Bubbles. I'd feel like complete shit if I came up to Archon and my dog died while I was gone.

In the aftermath of the Infection from Hell that took over my feet, I have broken out in hives over my whole body. My mother called them "Hysterical Hives". I don't find them funny at all.

o.O !!!!

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 23:30:32 GMT

One of the things that I learned from kukla_tko42 was that when shit goes wrong, put out a saucer of milk for the fairies so they quit fucking with you. considering the last 3 weeks have included:

my 12 year old dog becoming crippled
my 10 year old dog developing an immunity failure that has her at the vet now 5 days running
my feet developing some kind of disgusting problem that is just now beginning to heal
my cam shaft sensor going dead in Lady Vader AND -
my warranty has expired on Lady Vader
Charlie the Unicorn's truck starter going dead
the air conditioner in the apartment going dead SIMULTANEOUSLY WITH -
the air conditioner compressor in Lady Vader going dead

Yea. It was time to do something.

So I got out a saucer and poured in some milk. Then I got the sage out and set it to burn and Charlie the Unicorn and I set out to cleanse every room with our smoldering evil repellant. We openned the door to the patio so that it would have a means of escape. We hit every room, every doorway, even the small storage area. Hopefully that did some good.

This morning when we got up, This is what we found at the saucer of milk:

My only question now - should I put out MORE??? Jeez! How many hungry fairies did I have?!?!

Obviously home & on the good drugs...

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:28:24 GMT

MOST.

AWESOME.

FLASH DRIVE.

EVER!!!!

http://www.vat19.com/dvds/mimobot-star-wars-usb-flash-drives.cfm

Shares With Others

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:42:56 GMT

I... umm...

There just aren't words. go look yourself!!!

http://www.themillenniummall.net/muff.html

Stressed Out - Not for those with weak stomachs

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:35:02 GMT

So. In the midst of:

-finishing my wedding plans
-dealing with a crippled old dog
-managing the largest workload of my entire career to date
-having my car go out on me and discovering simultaneously that my warranty ran out 10,000 miles ago and I had to pay for the repair out of pocket
-dealing with my mother AT ALL

I get a case of athlete's foot. No big deal, right? WRONG.

I tried Tinactin. It spread.

I tried Lamacin. It spread.

I tried Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder. It FUCKING spread.

By Saturday my feet were so swollen that I could only get flip flops on my feet. By Saturday night the little itchy blisters were joining forces and becoming large, infected very painful blisters. From there the infection started to spread upward, making the lymph nodes in my legs and even my underarms swell.

I called my doctor's exchange. My doctor and the entire staff of the doctor's office are on a cruise in Alaska. But she did call me back and call in a perscription for some big bad antibiotic to fight what she thinks is a staph infection.

Sunday morning began the triple digit temperatures and toes so swollen I couldn't even bend them. The antibiotic she gave me is taking care of the inflamation that had spread into my lymph nodes. But my feet are still disgusting and I can't put on shoes, much less walk with any degree of accuracy, speed or comfort.

She is calling in an appointment - from Alaska - to a dermatologist here in Little Rock for me to go in and have this looked at. I'm at home because I can barely walk. Getting down the steps to the parking lot, and further, DRIVING, seems like a vicious nightmare. Jumping off the balcony is starting to sound like a viable solution. At least then I can roll to my car log-style instead of dealing with those steps.

Steampunk Goes Mainstream

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:08:02 GMT

And it's someone I like!

Katie MacAllister has a steampunk novel coming out, and I think she wrote it about a certain red-headed airship captain we all know. Here's the bookplate:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v161/katiemacalister/public/img003.jpg

Now I know that Katie Mac's heroines can frequently get jumbled up in your head like some bad hystrionic bumbling stereotype, but occassionally she gets it right. And when she gets it right, it's AWESOME.

The art on this cover is enough for me to pick it up, and reading the blurb makes it worth the 4 hours it might take to devour this bit of amusement.

It's not out yet, but stick it in the back of your brain for later.

Lucy, Why is Charlie Brown banging his head against that tree??

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:17:03 GMT

You know how in sitcoms when someone is ill they put them up in bed or on the couch and give them a bell to ring when they need anything, and then comic insanity ensues?

Imagine this situation, only the sick individual is not a person, it's a DOG, and it's not a bell, but a pitiful, heartbreaking, horribly annoying high pitched YIPE that stabs into your eardrums and then further into you SOUL making you jump to the beck & call of said dog.

Yea.

It's like that.

When's Tuesday???

YIPE!

Beulah

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:38:25 GMT

Miss Boo had a brush with death yesterday. She could barely walk and was urinating blood. I called off work and stayed home to take her to the vet, who couldn't see her until 3:30. It was like having a death watch, sitting there, waiting.

I had a doctors appointment at 8am to draw blood for an A1C, followed immediately at 8:45 by a dentist appointment. I was so worked up by the time I went to the doctor, my blood pressure was at stroke level - 181 over 116. I calmed down for the dentist appointment, but it was still a bad day. I was sure that the vet would have bad news for me and I wouldn't be bringing my baby home.

My vet, however, surprised me and told me he did not want to give up hope yet. She has 2 infections, and a bad disc, so he's given me 2 pills for her and wants to do surgery next week.

I am... momentarily relieved. The vet's demeanor gave hope, but worry. My fear is going through this expense only to lose her in the not too distant future. The alternative is to lose her now. I scheduled the surgery.

I know she's "just a dog". I know I'm a fucking fool. But when I love someone, it is truly, madly, deeply, and eternal. And this little soul that chose me to care for her when her eyes were barely open - She needs me now. I'll spare no cost. Even a month longer is better than a month less.

District 9

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:48:24 GMT

Go see this.

It has more to say than "I'm a horror movie about aliens!"

My only complaint is that I had to see it in Arkansas where Charlie the Unicorn & I were one of the 5 people in the audience that "got it". I heard more than one murmur of "Tha-yut wuz the wurst movie ah ever sah!" Head-slap.

It is violent. It is visceral. But short of making sculptures in mashed potatoes, I say "This MEANS something."

All Around the World!

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:29:24 GMT

T-minus 7 days and counting...

I am making a trip up to St. Louis next weekend to visit with my extended family - extended in this instance means that I will NOT be visiting anyone who has an actual blood tie. I am more sane that way.

From STL I will continue on to Kansas City on Sunday night, staying until Tuesday teaching a the folks at the KC location how to use the search features in the AS400.

This is irony at its best, folks. 2 years ago this weekend I was preparing to go to Texas to bring them over from a legacy system onto SAP. Now I'm going to an SAP plant to teach them how to use a legacy system. Did I miss something, or are we being a bit counter productive??

Anyway, from KC I will return to THE ROCK, making a giant triangle

If you are an STL-ian or a KC-er and you wish to see me, raise your hand and jump around screaming ME!ME!ME!

...or you could respond to this post.

...or MONKEYS.

The Frock in Question

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:08:09 GMT

Here is a photo of "the dress":

So now, as you can see, I cannot put this dress onto myself. When I said I flipped it around backwards and snapped the modesty panel, I did exactly that. Which means that my BOOBS were hanging out over the top of the back of the dress. How's that for a close up, Mr. DeMille!

So I am hopelessly stuck not knowing what the dress looks like right-side-forward until I sucker some poor unsuspecting co-worker over here, or the next visit from SATAN, I mean, my mother.

What amuses me most about this dress however is its name - ADORA. Another 80's cartoon princess. I'm fixated.

In the meantime, amuse yourself with visuals of me running around in a backwards wedding dress with my boobs flopping out of the top.