Bite Me

I Hate Politics

Richard Jeni had a great joke about religion: "Fighting over religion is like fighting over who has the best Imaginary Friend." I'm starting to believe the same is true for politics. I don't align completely Left or Right, mostly because I believe people should be left the Fuck alone with as little political intervention as possible.

Picking a politician is like choosing a fast food restaurant. You have to pick something, none of the options are really good, but you come to a point where you convince yourself that one option is not "that bad" so you go with it, only to find out later what evils you've allowed into your house - usually in the middle of the night and resulting in an uncomfortable trip to the bathroom.

Bite Me

No Manner of Luck

So in the middle of waiting for some minutiae to clear up for our preapproval some ASSHAT MOTHERFUCKER snipes our house.

Even appealing to the sellers, after telling them about my mother in law with cancer and having a baby on the way, it didn't matter.

I attempted to appeal for assistance from Joan, and was rejected. She doesn't care about us, or our son, only the dollars. Was even rude to me after I told her it was over, saying ""That's not my fault, but feel free to blame me anyway."

I'm devastated and sick. I'm useless here at work, don't know why I bothered to come in.

At the crossroads of Anger & Frustration there is contempt, and contempt is the relationship killer. The loss of this home will probably kill Charlie's mom, because the mother in law house was a life saver for both of us, and now we're all screwed and at square one.
Bite Me

Crisis of Faith

Don't judge me, but I'm already thinking about my child's education. Considering we are currently looking to buy a home, we are now faced with a consideration we didn't have to worry about before - good school districts. On the other side of that coin, we could send our child to private school. But the problem is finding an affordable school that is not faith based. They exist, but they're expensive.

Hubby & I are not church people, of any church. I grew up going to Catholic schools, and only got baptized & confirmed because I was trying to fit in. The problem with this is that my grandmothers family had strong pagan beliefs, and she only became Catholic when she married my grandpa. I spent a lot of time with my grandma. Hubby follows the ways of the Potowatomi tribe, which honors Food, Medicine & Women, which sustain or create life. But we don't believe church is necessary and have long since dropped out of services even on "C & E".

Which brings us back to my crisis of faith. We've found 2 homes that we really like. Neither are in particularly good school districts. So we look to see what non secular education options are - $12,000 a year. Secular education is much cheaper, but comes with a religious message we don't support, yet they will teach to my child. I don't want my child to make a decision to conform to a religious norm of classmates to attempt to fit in.

Yes, I know I'm worrying about this 6 years in advance. But then also understand that we have also decided to teach our child German from a young age with the goal of taking advantage of the Free College Tuition program that Germany is offering international students.

You may think we're planning too far ahead, but there are basic ideologies and truths that we have to teach. First, she must understand that her parents are older, and will not be around to help her through much of her life. She will have to be self reliant and independent. We want to build a strong family unit while respecting personal freedom and introduce her to as many cultures and lifestyles as possible and emphasize she has no limits and will always have our support.

All this stuff keeps rolling through my head. My mother has been on my ass about teaching religion and to stop listening to that "heavy metal shit". Neither of these things will happen.

I refuse to support organized religion. I find churches to be a way to control people through fear and superstition while separating them from their money. A lot of people have "returned" to their churches post 9-11 with the superstitious belief that they needed to "get right with God" and that prayer will protect them from the religious zealots of Islam. They don't recognize that their actions make them just as much extremists as the people they claim to hate. Hey pot? It's kettle. Guess what?

The world is not perfect, and there is not an ideal solution for me as yet. It does warrant more research to make an informed decision. But we have time, right?
Bite Me

The Weekend That Got Medieval on my Ass

I haven't been a fan of warm weather since I was a teenager. Then I went to college in Ohio where summer is mild. I came back home for a while, then spent a handful of years in Arkansas, which drove me inside like a vampire. I don't like to be hot, and spending time in excessively warm environments only makes me grumpy.

So when Hubby said he had a meeting and there was a BBQ following at a friends workshop in the old Lemp brewery my first reaction was to tell him to have a good time and stay home. I'm 3-1/2 months pregnant, my tolerance for Anything right now is next to nil, much less something I know will make me more uncomfortable. He said he really wanted to go, really wanted to get to know these folks, and I get that. This is a group of his "own" friends, not folks that associate with him because of me. So I indulged him, prepared for the worst and went.

Now before I got pregnant, I was already a type 2 diabetic. Getting pregnant exacerbated this condition because the placenta holds on to sugar to nourish baby. So what used to be managed by 3 pills a day must now be managed by 8 tests a day and 6+ shots of 2 different insulins a day. It also means following a pretty regimented eating plan to space out my carb aka sugar intake throughout the day. Knowing my specific needs, I prepared by making ambrosia salad.

We arrived about quarter to 2 for a 2pm meeting. A 2pm meeting that didn't start until closer to 4. By 5, I was starving. At 5:30 I check my blood sugar - ah crap, getting too low, and I didn't notice the danger signs - sweating - because it was so damn hot. Hubby notices I'm in distress and gets me some ambrosia which I devour. We stayed to eat, but not much longer, because it's called a blood sugar "crash" for a reason.

Flash forward to Sunday. We hit Bob Evans for breakfast. I check my sugar when we sit down - perfect, low, but not dangerously so. We order and wait. And wait. And wait some more. By the time the food arrives I'm sick. I eat a bowl of grits and take my other food home.

We proceed to our errands and afternoon house hunting. The first house we go to is nice, but it's built on a hill. Hubby goes to check out the backyard. I say I'll wait. He says to come on out so we can see about a fence for the dogs. I step down onto the mat outside the door - and the next thing I know I'm looking up at the world and I'm in pain. Apparently there were 2 mats stacked on each other, and there was just enough moisture between them to make me into a slapstick comedienne. Oh yea wait - I'm 3-1/2 months into a high risk pregnancy and I just FELL. We go back in, trade information with the agent while I stand there bleeding, and then proceed to the nearby Walgreens for my angry and freaked out Hubby to bandage up my scrapes.

We took a few minutes to see if I was okay and figure out whether we would continue or go home. I felt ok, so we kept up the search - only to see me leave my purse on the counter of the last house we looked at. Luckily it was owned by a retired military person and an officer for the STLPD so my belongings were unmolested.

At that point I was done. There's only so much a person can take before it becomes clear they shouldn't have left the house.
Work

Moving Right Along

Found a nice one bedroom apartment, and Charlie & I will be moving in 23 days. Woo!

The issue now is that we don't *quite* have the total cash we need to move in. THIS SUCKS.

This is why I've been the Bugaboo about jewelry parties. I can make good cash from a jewelry party, but people have to be willing to have them.

The other issue is the weather. Rain means Charlie doesn't work. No work means no money. Holidays mean no money. No money means I scramble, and I HATE to scramble. I hate having to choose which bills to pay, which to pay in part in favor of major bills and buying things like FOOD.

We're taking a major step back from where we were, going from 3 bedroom, 2 bath to 1 bedroom, 1 bath. I'm sad about it, but know it's necessary, because the only other alternative is staying with my mother longer.

Sigh. Wonder what I can put my hands on to sell to "find" some money...
Cat Face

Lee Mee 'Lone!!

I've spent the last 2 days agitated, and considering my living arrangements, for me to say that I'm agitated means that I'm downright AGGRAVATED. If you have ever left home and had to come back - for whatever reason - you'll certainly understand.

Suffice to say I'm really tired of too much togetherness. I really need some alone time. I want our own place again so bad I'm considering sleeping in my car. But most of all, I'm really tired of my mother telling me what SHE wants ME to do with MY money.

My priorities at this point are to catch up on what got behind the last couple months then find a place of our own. She wants us to stay here and pay her off before we get a place of our own. UM, NO. Not doing it. There will be mayhem. I'm really done.
Work

Employed Again

After what felt like an eternity, I have finally secured gainful employment again, and I begin on Monday. I can't wait! And I'm stepping into a position where there's major potential for growth, so I am excited to be jumping right in. I'm also glad to have gleaned an increase in pay. There's no 401K for the first year, and I don't get my medical until June, but I'm just so excited to be working again!

Now to get Charlie the Unicorn a job, and we can start working towards ESCAPE!
Bite Me

Can't Sleep, Too Excited!

So I have a section one interview with the company I had an in person interview with on Friday. I'm stupidly excited and now I can't sleep. The interview isn't until 1:30, so I can sleep in, but I've been wiggly about this job all day.

It's Buddha's belly, I tell ya! We have to go buy Buddha and give him an honored place in our home!
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Cat Face

Unpleasant but not Unmanageable

Argh, can I just go on record as saying that being an adult living with your parents and husband simultaneously is pure hell? I'm always in the middle and spend a lot of time having one person or another telling me what to do.

It gets more difficult when finances begin to get strained. See, in Arkansas you can't collect unemployment for any week you receive severance for. Because my former employer didn't pay the severance until January 3, 2014, Arkansas says I don't qualify for unemployment until week ending 3/15/2014 - and then there's a waiting week. Considering the "lump sum" payment of my severance package, what should have been 5 figures was significantly smaller. Then my mother-in-law needed emergency eye surgery and the new Medicare guidelines do not cover the eyes, so they borrowed money from us that they haven't paid back. Charlie can't collect unemployment because he quit his job, and the place that wants to hire him is waiting for approval. So that means living on credit cards where we can, and making payments on the "must pays" - vehicles and insurance - and skipping everything else until I can take care of it.

Unfortunately I share a credit card with Joan. I haven't made a payment since January. I hid the statement when it came in. But I didn't catch the notice in today's mail because I had an interview and then almost immediately after I got home left for dinner with friends at the Bissell Mansion, which was a free meal. She was super crabby when we got in and as I went into the kitchen, I had a caught sight of the notice sitting "casually" on the corner of the table. I waited patiently for the screaming but it has not come - yet. So she is stewing over this and will wait until I am alone some time tomorrow and then blast me as only Bitchface the Thundercunt can.

I'm sorry, but if the choice is between keeping our vehicles and the insurance to drive them or a credit card, I'm paying for my vehicle and insurance. Now that I have the unemployment thing settled and the tax return is on its way, I can catch up. But for now this is how it is. She's just going to have to understand.

In better news, the Job interview today went great. They're a smaller company, but I think I've got what they're looking for and if they can afford me, I'll be glad to step up for them. When they ask you to come back for your second interview before you leave your first, it's a good sign.

Charlie and I both rubbed Buddha's belly for luck the other day at Pier 1. Ever since we've had good news. If both these jobs come through, Charlie said he's going to go buy that Buddha. I like Buddha, so he would be welcome in my house, and bring peace, calm and luck.
Bite Me

The Earth-Shattering Kaboom

My former employer is paying for an agency to assist me with fine tuning my resume and help me to find a job.I've been going once a week for about a month now. Today's appointment was in the afternoon at an inconvenient time for lunch, so I picked up Chik-fil-a on the way home, about 3pm.

Sometime between 3:30 and 4:30, we missed a signal from Bubbles and she peed in one of the dog beds. I stripped it off immediately and threw the cover down the stairs to wash. My stepfather got home and I started dinner and did the days dishes Charlie and I had used. Charlie and my stepfather sat and watched TV, chatted, went outside to smoke. No one saw that mom's pug was chewing pieces off the dog bed I had stripped - until my mom walked through the door. She then proceeded to scream and berate ME, started screaming that her dog was going to die, and immediately called the vet. The whole time she was on the phone, her tirade at me continued. I asked her what she wanted me to do, and she said nothing. So I left the room, including the plate of dinner I had prepared for myself, went back to my room and lost my mind.

Understand that I'm having enough emotional issues right now with the job loss, having to live with her in the first place, and the stress of having zero income. I'm already on 2 mood altering drugs trying to keep me stable. So this sudden violent reaction directed solely at ME when there were 2 other adults who were doing something close to nothing while I was busy, it was just so unfair.

Charlie, understandably, was upset by the whole situation - he got to see my mother attack me. He was ready to take me anywhere else tonight, bring back the camper, anything to get me out of this house. I spent 2 hours curled in the fetal position. When he went out to smoke, my mother came into our room and yelled at me some more, insisting that I get up and eat, and she apologized and told me not to make her feel any worse. Of course by then the vet had told her that it wasn't a big deal, and what to look for if a problem should arise. She claimed I would have reacted the same way. I don't know if I would.

So now I have to watch her dog vigilantly tomorrow to make sure she passes the foam pieces. This pisses me off because I had lunch plans and again, I'm taking the brunt of a punishment I dont deserve, and seriously - what kind of dog eats their bed?